[Satire] Mom Pretty Jealous Of All The Dick Teenage Daughter Going To Pull With Those Highlights

[SATIRE] The Onion

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Mom Pretty Jealous Of All The Dick Teenage Daughter Going To Pull With Those Highlights

NEW GLARUS, WI—Tsking her tongue with envy as she put the finishing touches on her teen’s at-home hairstyling, local mom Sandra Bennett told reporters Friday that she was pretty jealous of all the dick her daughter was going to pull with those highlights. “Honestly, I’m happy knowing what these dirty blond…